A big, fat, delicious fail

If you've spent any time baking or cooking, I'm sure you've experienced it. No, not the joy of licking cake batter off a spatula or sinking your teeth into that perfectly grilled steak. (Although this is quite wonderful). Unfortunately, I'm referring to something much more sinister, something that tends to sneak up and surprise you when you least expect it. That's right. I'm talking about a big, fat kitchen fail.

Last week, I attempted to make homemade pizza crust for the first time. The Mr. and I have eaten our fair share of refrigerated pizza dough and though it's never really been bad, it's certainly never wowed us either. When I saw the simple ingredients and directions on Annie's Eats for your own yeasty pizza dough, I decided it was time to give it a try.

As it turns out, making the dough actually was very simple and surprisingly fun. It has a wonderful texture that  makes you want to toss it into the air and spin it around on the tips of your fingers. (I'm sure this operation would have gone bad much sooner if I had attempted this). I had so much fun rolling out the crust, brushing with oil and garlic salt, and layering delicious toppings over top of it. And the pre-oven pizza looked so lovely and so delicious, I could hardly wait to pull it out of the oven and celebrate.

And that's where things started to get ugly. I don't have a pizza peel so I rolled out the crust on parchment paper dusted with flour. Annie had said to dust with cornmeal or semolina, but I had neither on hand so I figured flour would work in a pinch (mistake number one). I enlisted the Mr. to help me slide the pizza crust onto the piping hot pizza stone. The problem was, there was no sliding. There was only sticking, and rolling, and tearing until we practically had to just peel and throw the mangled pile of dough and toppings into the oven.

It's okay, I told myself. It will still be delicious. The enticing smell of proscuitto began to fill our kitchen, and I almost forgot about the pizza transfer ordeal. That is, until I pulled out this:

A big, puffy, misshapen, and all around funky looking pizza. I could have cried. But the Mr. was there to cheer me up and assured me it would still be delicious. And I have to admit, it really was. I suppose you can't really mess up olive oil infused bread, basil, goat cheese, and proscuitto, no matter how ugly the end result.

The bright side to any kitchen fail is that you learn something. Here's what this one taught me:

1. Follow directions. If Annie says to use semolina or cornmeal, for the love of all that's holy and delicious,...USE SEMOLINA OR CORNMEAL!

2. Plan ahead. I was supposed to take this bread dough out of the freezer and place it into the fridge to thaw during the day. But I forgot. So when I got home I took the dough out of the freezer and let it sit in the warmest place in the kitchen for a full two hours. I think this is why I ended up with an exploding pizza crust.

3. Don't judge food by its appearance. This was by far one of the ugliest pizzas I had ever seen. It was also one of the most delicious I'd ever eaten. Sometimes you just have to take a fail and make the best of it! I've posted the recipe for this delicious pizza crust below. I'm confident you can make a beautiful crust on your first try. Just check out these tips from Annie's Eats and don't be like me and ignore the instructions! Ugly or not, I hope you'll have fun trying your hand at homemade pizza crust!

Homemade Pizza Crust
Yield: 2 pizza crusts

Recipe from Annie's Eats

Ingredients: 
½ cup warm water
2¼ tsp. instant yeast
4 cups (22 oz.) bread flour, plus more for dusting
1½ tsp. salt
1¼ cup water, at room temperature
2 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil

Directions: 
1. Measure the warm water into a 2-cup liquid measuring cup.  Sprinkle the yeast over the top and let sit until frothy.
2. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the bread flour and salt, mixing briefly to blend.  
3. Add the room temperature water into the measuring cup with the yeast-water mixture.  With the mixer on low speed, pour the yeast-water mixture and olive oil into the flour mixture.  Mix until a cohesive dough is formed.  Switch to the dough hook.  Knead on low speed until smooth and elastic, about 5 minutes.  
4. Transfer to a lightly oiled bowl, turning once to coat.  Cover with plastic wrap and let rise until doubled in size, 1½-2 hours.
5. Press down the dough to deflate it.  Transfer the dough to a lightly floured work surface.  Divide the dough into two equal pieces.  Form each piece of dough into a smooth, round ball.  (If freezing the dough, wrap in plastic wrap and freeze at this point.)  Cover with a damp cloth.  Let the dough relax for at least 10 minutes but no longer than 30 minutes.
6. To bake, preheat the oven and pizza stone to 500˚ F for at least 30 minutes.  Transfer the dough to your shaping surface, lightly sprinkled with cornmeal or semolina.  Shape the dough with lightly floured hands.  Brush the outer edge lightly with olive oil and sprinkle with parmesan and garlic salt if desired.  Top with your favorite toppings.  Bake until the crust is golden brown, and cheese is bubbling, 8-12 minutes.